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A/N: Kinda want to dedicate this chapter to a girl that went to a high school in my area. She died a few days ago because of heart failure after running track one day and having a heart attack. She was only 17. I never met her personally, but a friend of mine's sister was her best friend so....just keep her and her family in your prayers if you can. <3 Also, GO GATORS! I'm hoping they can beat those annoying Kentucky Wildcats (THEIR FANS WON'T FREAKIN SHUT UP! LOL) and be the SEC champs in basketball :) Okay, well, enough of stuff other than LWFC stuff, go on and read! XD


 

It can't be happening.

It can't.

Crystal just shot Adam, and right now, everything is in slow motion to me.

Adam falls to the ground with a thud, shocking Hailey to death, and Crystal lets out a ballistic laugh before David lunges at her, making her fall to the ground and drop her gun. For a split second, I think about my daughter and how that simple fall could've hurt her. She's just a little baby.

Then, like a flash, I look to Adam and see a red spot in his shirt slowly starting to grow just below where I know his heart was.

No.

I'm frozen in place as A.J. rushes to Adam and I'm even more frozen when I see Brad and Cassidy rush from the other side to his aid. I turn back around somehow and see Ben and James helping pin Crystal down to the ground with a giant struggle. I also see Allison being taken out of the building by Tommy, his cell phone to his ear. Probably was calling 911.

Hopefully.

I soon feel hands yanking me off the stage, and unable to talk or move, I let them take me. As I'm brought out of the building by whoever owns the dainty hands around my wrists, I see Adam in great pain and can faintly hear his pained moans. My eyes have no time to cry. My mouth has no time to talk.

It's all too fast.

We get outside about two minutes after it happens, and man, everyone's either traumatized or worried. Some are talking to their parents on their phones and some are just clinging to friends in shock. I, on the other hand, am being shaken by what seem to be three girls back out of this state of unconsciousness. I don't want to go back, though. I don't want to believe that my baby girl may be hurt because of Crystal. I don't want to believe that Adam got shot.

I don't want to believe that Adam may die.

"Kris," I hear one of them say, "can you hear me? Kris, snap out of it."

I somehow manage to shake my head.

"Kris," another one says, "Adam's gonna' be taken to the hospital. We need you to snap out of this so we can get you there."

In my zombie state, I nod and allow them to drag me to some car. As I plop in, I realize it's Tommy's car. Allison is in the passenger seat with Gabby while Tommy drives and Jamie and Casey are back here with me. I can't help but watch them as they call Adam's parents, their parents, my parents, and tell them to hurry to the hospital. They look so worried in their eyes but so calm and strong on the outside, and I'm jealous. How can they possibly pull that off when I can't even freakin move?

Before I know it, we're at the hospital, where all around me, hell is breaking loose.

I can see and hear people preparing for Adam's arrival, and even though the waiting room is pretty quiet when we reach it, their voices aren't muffled. Allison is holding my hand on my left and Jamie is slowly rubbing my back on my right. Tommy is on the phone a few feet in front of me and Gabby and Casey are anxiously pacing the floor near him. I'm still numb, though.

"Leila and Eber are here," Tommy mutters out quietly, and sure enough, they are just walking in, tears in their eyes and spirits shaken. As soon as they lock eyes with Tommy, they rush to us. Eber immediately is talking to Tommy faster than I've heard anyone speak and Leila comes straight to me. I look into her poor heartbroken eyes and can only offer a chaste kiss on her forehead for comfort to her.

It's too soon.

"Kris.....don't you dare be thinking this is your fault."

That never really had been in my thoughts until now. The corner of my mouth tries to rise up to show her that, yes, I'm not some frozen robot like I've been leading on, but it doesn't come close. Leila wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into a tight hug that very much resembles how Adam hugged me before......

Before he got shot.

Suddenly, the doors to the ER burst open and a whole medical team comes in with someone on the stretcher. I see that it's Adam almost immediately and feel my eyes start to get wet. Leila and Eber quickly rush over to a few trailing nurses only to be shunned away like you see every family get in movies. I get up and walk over to them, tears finally spilling over. They turn around and look at me knowingly. They knew how I felt.

They knew that it was best to not fight the nurses and just wait.

As I begin to walk back to the chairs with them, another stretcher comes through the ER door, and I can see Crystal on it. She is whining about how she's not hurt and how they should just give up trying to save Adam when she sees me.

"Kris," she calls out in a way-too-happy tone, "thank goodness you are here! Come here so I can give my new husband a kiss!"

I don't know why, but a certain feeling built up inside me and makes me run over to her. I look her straight in the eye and stop the nurses. Crystal freakin grins at me.

"Crystal," I whisper with a mocking smile on my face, "go to hell."

Her face falls. "Wha-?"

"If Adam dies, I'm going to make it my personal goal in life to make sure you get locked up in that dirty cell of yours for life. I'm going to take my baby and get the hell out of this town to a place you'll never find me and live my life how it should've been without you in it."

"But...I love you, Kr-"

"IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SHOT THE ONE GUY WHO NEVER HURT ME, DAMMIT!"

Crystal stares up at me with her eyes wide open as if she never had seen me like this.

I could push her off that stretcher.

"Don't you dare look at me like you didn't know that," I bitterly whisper as I see other people watch me around the room, "because you sure as heck knew that every other time you've tried to hurt me. You knew I loved him. You knew I was gay. You knew that I never was going to love you, yet you STILL had to shoot him. ALL OF THIS," I yell angrily, gaining even more unwanted attention, "OVER A BREAK UP! How would YOU like it if I made it my life's quest to be encircled around making your life as miserable as possible? You want me to hurt your parents? Break your legs? Ruin every damn relationship you have until the day you die? Not even until the day I die would I ever be able to get enough payback after what you've done to me, Crystal. Here's a warning to you, Crystal. If Adam dies, I'll make sure you die just like he did."

I look coldly into her eyes as the nurses ship her off into some room. Finally, for the first time, I actually gave Crystal my mind.

It felt liberating.

But the minute my eyes left hers, I helplessly crumble to the floor and burst into tears. No longer am I able to hold back my feelings. No longer is my body frozen to the world.

It's finally showing how much of a wreck I really am.

A minute later, Tommy is picking me up off the floor and draping me into his arms and frankly, I couldn't thank him enough. He stood there as I let it all out. He let me break down in his arms.

It was much more than I'd ever ask from any friend of mine.

"It'll be okay Kris," he whispers into my ear as a sob rocks my body, and for some reason, I believe him. It doesn't make me feel better, but I just do. "Adam will be alright."

I can only hope as cling to Tommy's small body that he is right.

"I hope."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's about two hours after Adam arrived and my heart can't take this pain and unknowing much longer. I'm in Brad's arms right now as tears streak down my face, making my parents across the room from me just break down. Ben is next to me on the right with James and is crying silently. Cassidy is next to me on the left and has been watching me for the past ten minutes in pure silence. he moment is too serious for him to do anything else. Brad begins to play with my hair and smiles as I lean into his gentle touch. I back away almost instantly as I realize that Adam used to do that to me. Always.

"Sorry," Brad says as he too realizes it. I shrug apologetically in response and lower my head back against his chest. Suddenly, a doctor appears and calls for the family of Adam Lambert. We all stand up, but Leila, Eber, and I are the ones that go straight to him.

"Is he okay?" is the first question that leaves my mouth, and the doctor sighs deeply after it. Never a good sign.

"He's stable," the doctor says, looking between us three, "but he's unconscious. The amount of blood that left him was pretty immense and it caused him to fall out of consciousness. His body nearly went into shock. We nearly lost him on the way over."

I swallow hard at that. My worst fear almost happened.

"Right now, he's recovering from surgery," he continues, "and is resting in his bed. We had to replenish his blood quite a lot during the operation, but he did stable out, like I said. There's no telling what the damage of the injury has caused, but as far as we know, it hasn't effected him functioning properly."

"Where did the bullet hit?" Eber asks as he holds Leila close.

"It's a little hard to describe, but let's just say that it was very close to the heart but not close enough to kill him immediately. He sill could die, but...it's not as likely. No major artery was effected, so that helps his case. It was a close call, to put it blatantly."

I gulp deeply as realization yet again takes over my senses. Adam almost died. My mind is rushing at the mere thought of it.

"We can allow one person in at a time in to visit-"

"I want to go first," I immediately yelp out before the others, causing them to look at me funny. I blush and shuffle my feet in embarrassment. "Unless, er...one of you guys wants to."

Leila sadly smiles and pats my back. It feels like how Adam would. "I think you of all people deserve to go first, Kris. I mean.....you were with him just before..."

I nod and mouth 'thank you' before following the doctor down a long hallway.

"I must caution you, Kris," he warns, "that Adam is hooked up to a lot of wires and various support systems. It's pretty disturbing for some people, especially if they have a big emotional connection to the person. I just don't want you to be too shocked."

With a sigh, I nod and continue to follow the doctor. I kinda expect Adam to look bad, but still.....him. Hopefully, he won't look too different. I mean, it was one bullet. One mistake. One fired shot.

One bullet couldn't do too much damage, could it?

"Here we are," the doctor said as we approach a big sheeted off area. I feel prepared, but once again, something inside me throws me off course. I quickly grab the doctor's arm and look into his eyes sternly.

"Take me to Crystal," I say hoarsely. "I need to make sure of something."

"If you're wondering about the baby, it's okay. We ran tons of tests and found that it wasn't harmed in the whole...event."

My heart slows for a second and I let out a long breath of relief. My little girl wasn't hurt by that....animal. She's safe.

Then I look to the curtain and it speeds up all over again.

"Show me Adam then."

The doctor opens the curtain and my knees go weak. There Adam is. His face looks peaceful. His chest is rising slowly up and down.

So many wires are attached to him.

There's one up his nose, one in his hand, a few on his chest.....

It hurts more than when I saw him get shot.

I can still see faintly the glitter in his hair and can see the faint traces of smeared eyeliner on his pale face. His prom outfit is now replaced with a hospital gown. His body is hurt. He looks hurt.

"Adam," I whisper out in shock and soon, I feel the doctor place his hand on my shoulder to comfort me as the tears well up inside me.

"I'll leave you two alone. If anything happens, there's a red button on the wall. Press it."

I nod as the doctor slowly leaves the curtained off area and slowly make my way over to Adam's nearly motionless body. Grabbing a chair, I sit next to him and sigh. I take his fragile hand in mine and lightly squeeze. Maybe, just maybe, he can feel it. Feel me next to him. Feel my love for him at this moment.

"Adam Mitchel Lambert," I warn as tears fall down my face, "you better not leave me today. I don't care what the doctor says your chances are You better not give up now, after all we've been through. We have a little girl still, Adam. We have a little daughter who needs bother her daddies. She needs you more than anyone, Adam. She needs her strong daddy who not only can protect her but can dress her up for Halloween better than anyone. Most importantly.....I need you, Adam. I need you to help me raise her. I need you so that I can walk down the hall fearlessly like before. I need you so that I can go through every day knowing I'm loved. I need you more than air, Adam. Without you, there's no air for me. I rather die than lose you. I swear, Adam, if I could switch bodies with you....you know like hell I would. I love you, Adam. So freakin much."

Suddenly, I can feel Adam's thumb move on my hand. My eyes flash to his face like a hawk to find his eyes start to flutter open.

"Adam?" I ask frantically, my heart racing. "Adam, can you hear me? Tell me you can, love."

Adam slowly licks his lips and then lets out a long moan followed by the one word I needed to hear.

"Kris?"

I gasp and feel the tears fall down now more than ever before. "Adam, sweetie, you're going to be okay. I love you, Adam."

"Kris...Jessie.."

"She's alive," I say to him, placing a thankful kiss to his hand. "She's going to be okay. Our baby girl is going to be okay, Adam."

"Kris...hurts.."

"I know baby. The doctors are taking care of you. Just calm down. You just had surgery."

"Bullet...where?"

"The bullet hit close to your heart, sweetie. They got it out, but you have to rest and calm down. Don't move much."

Adam blinks and looks into my eyes incredulously for some reason. I smile through my tears and gently squeeze his hand again. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"You....you look....pretty. Your eyes...chocolate."

I smirk at that. "Yours look like diamonds. Little blue diamonds."

"Love you."

Getting up from my chair, I get closer to Adam and carefully place a small kiss to his lips. He smiles and lets a small hum of approval slip from his lips. I smile and press the red button on the wall calmly. He was okay now. We are going to be okay now. We can love again.

"I love you too, Adam Lambert," I murmur lovingly near his ear," and I always will. Count on it."

------------------------------------------------------------------

To be continued......
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glambertrock

April 2011

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